2 Nephi 31:19

"After ye have gotten into this straight and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay..."
Are we ever finished? No. Have we ever done enough? No.
This goes for a lot of other things.

• We could say that we are praying and that is enough. But have we fallen to our knees and sincerely talked with our Father in Heaven like the prophets and the scriptures have guided us to do?
• We could say that we are reading our scriptures everyday. But are we arising early to truly feast upon the words of Christ?
• We could say that we are going to church for the full 3 hours. But are we texting, sleeping, or not paying attention the whole time?

I am far from perfect. I have been guilty of some of these things. But I want to change. I need to change. I need this in my life if I am going to teach others to do the same. I am never finished being a servant of my Lord and Savior. I can't wait to serve!

Weekend

I had the most fabulous weekend! It was Stake Conference. And it was just perfect. Everything that I needed to hear, and more.
Saturday started off at 1:00 with a Relief Society Workshop: Building Homes of Refuge. It was a four hour workshop with some speakers and four different classes to attend. Some things I really loved:

• We waited to come forth to this earthly life for this specific time because we are strong enough to triumph over all the adversary has corrupted this world with. 
• We talked a lot about the blessings of the Priesthood. This is a subject that normally I would not pay full attention to, only because I am a woman who does not hold the Priesthood, but this time they presented the information differently. Priesthood keys have the ability to open and unlock doors that will stay locked without them. Can I afford to not have these keys in my future home? Can I sit by and watch my future husband do something in jeopardy to living up to the authority and blessings that he has been given from our Lord and Savior? Look out boys, because I expect a lot out of my future husband!

Class #1: Savvy Money Management:

• There are a lot of things in this life that we will not be able to control. But having a set budget will give us the peace of being in control, even when the unexpected presents itself.
• Make lists to distinguish between needs and wants. Don't shop when you are "hungry".

Class #2: Scripture Study:

• What have we tried? What works for us?
• Make scripture study a love affair with the words of God. All love affairs require work on our behalf.
• We need the scriptures like we need food. We wouldn't skip a meal, so why skip scripture study?

Class #3: Homemaking:

• Your home can be anywhere. The feeling of being "home" is completely dependent on us and what we make of our "house".
• Our home is just that, OUR home. It becomes what we make of it. Make our home a strong gospel home. Teach your children in your home. Then, when all the materialistic and worldly items are gone, you can still call it home.
• A good home is never an accident. It doesn't just happen. We need to constantly work towards our home.
• Our home and what we do to bring the spirit is what lasts for the eternities.
• Showcase our priorities (family, temple, love).

Class #4: Beauty and Modesty:

• We are all beautiful because we are all daughters of God and are all created after His image.
• Beauty lies deeper than what others can see on the outside.
• Beauty is an inward happiness that impacts our outward appearances and actions. 
• We need to set a beautiful example of love and happiness for our future home. Beauty is different from the world. 
• Our outward appearances reflect our inward beauty as much as our inward appearance reflects our outward beauty. 
• Love who you are! We matter. Once we truly believe that we are beautiful, we will be happy. This joy and beauty is what makes us Latter-day Saint women distinct from the world.
• "It doesn't matter what the world believes, or what they say that beauty means. It comes from within. I want to be beautiful to Him."

That night was the general session for our stake. Some comments that I loved:

• i have grown up in an environment surrounded by this gospel. To not give back to the Lord for all these happy years I have had because of the gospel would be so selfish.
• We cannot convert others beyond our own conversion. How converted am I?
• Be tall and proud. Show the world through our countenance that we are followers of Christ.
• After serving, we are never fully released. Always strive to live worthily to enter His holy house and become like Christ. The greatest work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes.
• The closer we are to God, the more power we have.
• We have more influence on our husbands and children by our example, our word and our deed than anyone else. It is our duty as mothers and wives to raise and prepare our children, to bring them knowledge of the importance of the Priesthood. Only we have that influence.
• We will never completely understand everyone else. So who are we to judge them? We need to do what we can and be the best we can be instead of trying to change others.
• There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution and which promotes and preserves family life.
• We all have mountains to climb. Mountains have their challenges, but also their opportunities and times to look down from the top.

Sunday morning general session was equally as excellent.

• We all wonder if we are ready to go. The Lord will call us when we are ready. On our mission papers we tell the Lord when we are available. And he gives us a call when we are ready.
• Live each day to show the Lord that we remember our covenants.
• The road to eternal life leads straight through the temple.
• Our guidance and blessings in our patriarchal blessing are a protection and comfort for us. But these blessings are not automatic. They require our effort.

And finally, Sunday night there was a fireside for all those preparing for missions. This may have been my favorite part of the whole weekend.

• All missionaries are different. But we can't change others, we can only change ourselves.
• Be clean: Your appearance really matters when you are wearing a name tag.
• Be honest: Do the right things for the right reasons.
• Be compassionate and sensitive: It really helps out a companionship.
• Be patient: Don't compare yourself with others. Maybe we are the only ones who can help a companion or teach an investigator.
• Be prepared: To teach, to love, to work hard, to bear a true testimony.
• Be willing: To go back to an investigator. To never give up.
• Be obedient: Follow the handbook. Serve with perfect obedience. Be obedient even when nobody is watching. Perfect obedience with no excuses.
• Be careful: When you drive. When you teach. What you write home.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to share your talents. 
• Be an example to those around you. Don't be afraid to open your mouth.
• When you don't have anything to say, bear your testimony.
• Be happy. Smile. Be approachable. Put a good face on for our church. Make friends with those you teach before trying to teach.
• Success is not measured in the number of baptisms. Power comes from obedience and righteous service. We are successful if we follow what we are asked to do.
• Take pride in how we look. We are ambassadors of the Lord.
• Work is a gift from God. And it is just that... Work! It is not always going to be easy.
• Best thing to do: Learn the gospel well enough to really know it. Then we can focus on the investigator and their needs instead of teaching a set lesson.
• A mission: basic training through life.

I have found that I have never regretted going to a workshop or a fireside or anything the church offers for me outside of the 3 hour church block. But I have regretted every time I haven't gone. I miss that spirit and guidance. I can always find something in a meeting that I needed to hear. There was a lot this weekend that I needed.

100 Days

No big deal... I just get to go to the MTC in 100 days!! I can't wait to serve the Lord and the people of Illinois so so soon.

Endowment

I went to the Brigham City Temple yesterday to receive my Endowment. It was absolutely perfect. Everything about it. I had been to the Temple Prep classes, we talked about the Endowment for 3 of our institute classes, and I read the Temple Prep book and a couple articles. I had talked to my bishop and stake president and another presidency member, talked to my mom and dad about it a lot, and the night before had a discussion with my sister. So I was pretty prepared. And I knew I needed to go in not expecting to remember and understand everything, but to enjoy the spirit and the message given. And I enjoyed every minute that I was in the temple. This gospel is so true. There is no doubt about it. I love everything about the temple and the covenants and blessings that are made and given. It truly is God's house, and he resides there. I felt his presence in my midst. I am so blessed to have the knowledge of this gospel and to have the faith to follow and be a disciple of my Savior. I can't wait to serve. 100 DAYS!!!

Brigham City

 Family

 Just Me

 Parentals

My Best Friend and Sister

Teaching and Knowledge

I think of fear of mine, and a lot of future missionaries, is teaching. Do we know enough? Teaching is something that I don't consider one of my best qualities. In fact, anything that has to do with giving a lesson or public speaking just is not my forte. But the Lord must have known that I would be going on a mission, because he began to prepare me before I had even heard the announcement of the age change. I definitely was never even considering taking Public Speaking in college. Between that class and Communications, I would much rather take Communications. But, my adviser really suggested I take Public Speaking. And for some weird reason, I listened to him. It was not a bad class, but I got pretty nervous before each speech. Only one month after the class had started, I was called as a Relief Society teacher in my college ward. As if taking a Public Speaking class was not enough, now I had to prepare lessons for church as well. Not ideal, but looking back now, it has taught me a lot and better prepared me for when I will be teaching in just a couple months.
I was thinking about teaching the lessons. I was worried that I did not know enough. I still worry myself sometimes. But I started thinking about it, and this is what I came up with:
We have to remember that we were baptized when we were 8 years old. The only knowledge we had was what we had learned in primary and what we had learned from our parents in the home. We did not know all. We knew a miniscule amount actually. So we can't be expected to know all now. There is always going to be more to learn. Those we teach do not need to know all before being baptized. The Lord doesn't send apostles and scholars on missions, because that is not where they are needed. We are needed there. Not only for others, but for ourselves as well. To better ourselves to later become those future leaders who will expand information for converts who were baptized after learning the simple truths of this gospel from the missionaries. Do not fear, because we know enough. Right now we shouldn't be trying to learn everything, but rather learning how to teach what we have known since primary and really making sure that we have a strong testimony of the gospel truths. The Lord will put words in our mouths at the exact moment we need them. He will not leave us without answers to questions that we are asked. And we will have his help as long as we are faithful. So do not be scared to serve. Do not be scared to teach. We know enough. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I don't know everything, but I do know that this is the true church. I believe in the Lord and in all that I have been taught since primary. And I am ready to serve!

Keep Moving Forward

A line that has always stuck with me. Nothing is going to go the way we plan. There is always mystery in our future. But when life doesn't go the way you want it to, the only thing that you and I can do is to keep moving forward. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves and hope that others will follow. And when you do all that you can and it doesn't succeed, just keep moving forward. The Lord knows the intents of our hearts. We will be judged for our efforts, not anyone elses. So keep moving forward. And take advantage of what you have when you have it, because it won't always last forever.

Technology

One theme that kept coming up in Conference and really hit home was the issue of technology. There are so many amazing uses of technology in these days. It makes communication easier, there is the entertainment aspect, family history work, missionary papers, etc. But technology has really been driving me crazy lately. Completely crazy!!!!!! I really can't handle it a lot of times lately. I feel like it is taking over all those around me. It is a huge distraction and it seems like it is becoming an addiction. Something nobody can seem to go without. I don't totally love that idea. There are too many people coming home from missions because they can't stand not being on facebook or not texting. It is just so sad to me. I also think that texting ruins communication between people. I am not going to be one of those people. Yeah texting and facebook is cool right now, but once I get married and start a family, I don't want my phone or my computer to become a distraction from what is most important. I love the idea of technology, but I hate it at the same time. I went without facebook for 3 days and I have given up my phone almost entirely for the last 24 hours. It has been a little inconvenient, but nothing that I can't handle. And it is nice to know that I have not had that constant distraction of checking my phone or getting on facebook when I am bored. I am more aware in class, I get my homework done faster and better, and I really listen to people instead of focusing on something else. And I loved it. So although I will be turning my phone back on, I have made a vow to myself not to text anyone unless I have a legit excuse. And to not text when other people are around, because it really is just inconsiderate. I am also limiting my facebook to once a day. I think this will be really good for me while preparing for my mission.

General Conference

The end of another great Conference. Phenomenal words were spoken and I couldn't be more happy with the decision I made to really listen and heed to the words of the prophets. Some of my favorites:

President Boyd K. Packer

• We need to separate the sin from the sinner because the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least bit of allowance.
• We are all born with the light to recognize right from wrong. The real test is how we use that light.

Dean M. Davies

•  Temples are built not only to withstand natural disasters common to that area, but are built to withstand disasters of all kinds. We are to do this as well. We need to be built on a sure foundation (Christ) so that no matter what comes our way, we have a way to escape.

Elaine S. Dalton

• What-e'er thou art, act well thy part.

Elder Craig A. Cardon

• We need to demonstrate faith, even when we don't know the purpose.
• Turn to the Lord to carry our burden only after we have done all we can do to better the situation.
• We need to bear in mind that people can change. Don't see men as they are at present, but as they may become. 

M. Russell Ballard

•  Tomato Plant Story: how many millions of tomatoes can come from one tiny seed if planted and cared for. We have that unlimited potential, but we need to nourish ourselves with spiritual light and water.
• Let Christ's light and water bring to light our weakening plant.

Henry B. Eyring

• The Lord walked with his disciples. He still does today. I want to be his disciple. I want him to walk with me.

Richard G. Scott

• Our actions not only effect us but those around us.
• Our home will naturally become a refuge when focused on the Savior. 
• Trust in the Lord and in His timing.

Quentin L. Cook

• He that doeth the works of righteousness will receive peace in this world and in the world to come.
• We need peace to block our judgement and ease our hate.

Stanley G. Ellis

• Work. And Work Hard. On Time.
• We are not spiritual orphans, we are never alone. 
• Look beyond the appearance and stature to the heart, how the Lord looks upon his children.

John B. Dickson

• Theach all nations - this gospel needs to be spread still.

David A. Badnar

• The most exalted power from Heaven we have is the power to have and raise children.
• Satan wants us to be alone, in the dark, without hope. This feeling never comes from the Lord.
• Living the law of Chastity invites some of the greatest blessings we can receive in mortality.
• Guilt is to our spirit what pain is to our body.

Russell M. Nelson

• Our living God is a loving God. He wants His children to come to know and love Him. To eventually have that perfect eternal life.  

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

• It is part of our condition as human beings to feel as though we are surrounded by darkness. But God promises the hope of His light.
• If we don't let the light of Christ in our lives, darkness will immediately flood in.
• We can't enjoy the Savior's peace and healing unless we first push away all darkness. We need to make room for the light. 
• Healing comes only when we take a step out of the darkness.
• How do we open our eyes to hope/the light of Christ? 1. Start where you are. 2. Turn your heart toward the Lord. 3. Walk in the light.

Neil L. Andersen

• Signs and miracles follow our faith.
• No force in the entire world can stop the work of God.
• We won't all be missionaries. But we can all paint a missionary tag on our hearts and serve the Lord.
• We need the Lord's help to serve a mission. He will open important doors for us if we turn to Him.
• Faith will overcome doubt - The Lord will be with us and fill our minds with what to say in the exact moment we need to say it.

Rosemary M. Wixom

• It is okay to mess up here and there if we learn from our mistakes and move forward.
• To speak to a child's heart, we must first know their needs.
•  Learn from the voice of Heaven - still small voice - firm in direction and peace.
• Christ will let us know what to say in the exact moment we need to say it. Are we in a place to listen?
• Technology is a HUGE distraction. Don't get addicted to it now.

L. Whitney Clayton

• Watch and Learn! The happiest of marriages:
• 1. Both husband and wife consider their marriage as a pearl with great worth.
• 2. Build your foundation upon faith on the Lord. Strive to be completely obedient. Strengthening faith strengthens a marriage.
• 3. Repentance is essential in every relationship. Humility is selfless. Listen for understanding. Put your spouse first.
• 4. Respect each other as equal partners. Make decisions unanimously. Focus first on your home. Turn off electronics. Work side by side with no secrets.
• 5. Love each other. Cleave unto your partner with complete devotion. Make your marriage your first priority. Seek for eternity. Marriage is a gift from God to us.

L. Tom Perry

• Today we are all fighting in a war of words, thoughts, and deeds.
• Obedience to the laws is liberty.
• Satan wants to make us miserable like he is. Never underestimate his will to bring us down.
• 2 Nephi 2:27 - Will we choose liberty and eternal life or captivity and death?
• We can't make room for worldly priorities.
• Commandments are our road map to return to Christ and the only way to be eternally happy. Eternity is much longer than earth life is. Is it worth it?
• While the world is constantly changing, the Lord is still the same.

Thomas S. Monson

• Truth is knowledge of things as they are, as they were, and as they are to come.
• Enjoy each moment of each minute of each day.
• There are rules and laws to ensure physical safety. The Lord has given commandments and laws to ensure our spiritual safety. 
• We will all be tried and tested - through our faith and obedience we will be blessed.
• The great test in this life is obedience. Are we willing to be obedient in this complex and changing world?

Jeffery R. Holland

• Even if ye can only desire to believe, let this be in you until ye believe.
• 1. When facing the challenge of  strength, exert all we have before turning to the Lord.
• Hold the ground we have already won, be it limited, and stand strong until additional knowledge comes.
• 2. Don't lead off in unbelief. Be true to the faith we do have.
• What we know in this church will always trump what we do not know.
• 3. When doubt comes, don't be afraid to ask for help.
• Belief is a precious word and act. It is also the first step to true knowledge and conversion.

Dallin H. Oaks

• The world loves his own. We are chosen out of the world. The world won't always like us.
• We can't let the praise of the world be higher than that of God.
• Following Christ is a lifelong journey. It never ends.

Christoffel Golden Jr.

• What are we willing to sacrifice for our God? 
• Our quest for eternal life is nothing other than finding God and serving and becoming like Him.

 And... this is when I fell asleep. I need to go back and finish watching or read the rest of this session. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of this gospel. I want nothing more than to follow the footsteps of these fine bretheren and sisters who are true disciples of my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

General Conference

I love General Conference. Each new year I get more and more excited and get a lot more out of it. I definitely took it for granted when I was younger. The Lord really speaks through our prophets and apostles. What they are inspired and directed to say is meant just for us and is from the Lord. I can't even wait for conference to start today. Anticipating what the brethren have to say about the new mission age and have some questions that I can only pray will be answered. I love this gospel. It is so true.

New Mission

Not really a new mission, but I liked that title. My new assignment was put up on my missionary portal. I am staying in the Illinois Chicago mission. So I will be the East part of Illinois and the West part of Indiana. I can't save any pictures, but Crystal Lake and Chicago are still in my mission.  I will post a picture when I figure that all out. Only 110 days. Can you even believe it?

The Unknown

I am afraid of the unknown, as I have said before. I came across this scripture in my study today. "Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not. But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words..." (1 Nephi 9:5-6). I won't always know. In fact, I think I will fewer times know than not know what the Lord has in store for me. But my path was predestined, and with the help of the Lord, I know I can follow that path. Find joy in the journey!

"If..."

The Book of Mormon is full of promises to us. And the Lord has guaranteed that every promise he makes will be kept. But something that I don't always seem to remember is the "if" part of the promise. Yes, God will keep his part of the bargain, but only if we keep ours. A prime example, I was just reading in 1 Nephi 7:12-13 which says "Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him. And if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise..." It is all in that simple word. Let us never forget to live our part and fulfil the ifs in our lives.

Book of Mormon

I am starting the Book of Mormon again. Hoping to finish before my mission which I am sure is not going to be hard. I started on Sunday. I love this book and really need to get to know it to better be able to teach. It is really easy for me to read 1 Nephi. It gets a little bit harder after that. I can't tell you how many times I have read "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents...". I have read the whole book through personally twice. The first was for seminary. I was really only reading to say that I read. The second time was a little bit better. I really wanted to know that it was true. This time I am reading it through with the intent of teaching. I want to understand the stories, the people, the events and be able to reference specific stories and scriptures. I need this to be the kind of missionary I know I can become. I am so excited to serve the Lord!

Distractions and Resolutions

I keep thinking that distractions are going to be good for me before my mission. Turns out, they so aren't. I keep focusing on things that don't matter. Things that are going to end up hurting me in the long run. And honestly, I am quite sick of it. So, I have made a resolution. Starting tomorrow (because I was super emotional this morning) I am going to focus on what makes me happy and what I know I need to do before my mission. And I am going to make that the top priority in my life. I am going to set aside unneeded distractions. I am going to wake up 20 minutes earlier than needed to have personal scripture study in the morning. I am going to take more time and make a better effort to make my prayers personal and more meaningful. I am going to search for people to serve. I am going to study Preach My Gospel and finish reading my Conference Ensign from last October. I am going to live my life to be the best disciple of my Savior that I can be. I am not scared to serve my mission. I am not afraid of the unknown. I am not distraught over leaving my family. Because I know that through the next 18 months of my life I will be an everyday disciple of my Lord and I will be serving him with all my heart. It won't be easy. There will be times when I want to give up. But I know I can do it. And with the help of the Lord, I can do hard things.

Atonement

Being Easter weekend I wanted to post my feelings on the Atonement.
None of us here are perfect. And there is a higher law that we are all placed under. There had to be a being who was perfect who could satisfy the demands of the law to fulfill what God needed fulfilled. He had to be perfect so that the law did not have claim over him. I don't think that I will ever fully understand what happened to Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Christ bled from every pore with the weight of every sin, every trial, every burden of every person born to this earth as well as all those who are beings on other earths. I think of my trials and burdens. I wouldn't want to place that load on anyone. So knowing that Christ has been through everything I have felt, as well as had every feeling that every person ever has felt makes me quiver. To any normal being, the pain would have been unbearable. Even Christ himself prayed out to Heavenly Father, "if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as i will, but as thou wilt." But he finished the will of His father. He sat through beatings, ridicule, walking his cross to the bitter end, his hands and feet nailed to the cross, and his last hours on the cross. And even then, what did he say? "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." He could have very strong feelings and some choice words to say to those who had done this to him. But through all that he had been through he asks for forgiveness to those who didn't understand what they were doing. I like think about this now. I have absolutely no reason to not forgive anyone for any wrong that they do towards me. Sometimes we just don't understand right now what we are doing and the hurt that it could bring to others. We don't have the bigger picture and all the knowledge we need to be perfect. So through all my mistakes I hope to be forgiven. I have made so many mistakes in my life. But I am lucky to have this knowledge that even when I make mistakes, there is someone who still loves me enough to help me through. I love this gospel and all the hope that it brings to my life. I am so very blessed to know that when I make mistakes I can be forgiven and instead of carrying the weight of it all with me, I have a repentance process that I can go to and give my burdens up to the Lord. I don't have to wallow in my mistakes because the Lord has promised to make them light. He does this through the Atonement. I have been asking myself what the Atonement really means to me over the last couple months. As a missionary I not only need a sure understanding, but I need to have a love for the meaning of the Atonement. And I definitely have found that although there is so much I don't understand, I am eternally grateful for what I do know. "A perfect man at an imperfect trial was found guilty so that an imperfect man (or woman) at a perfect trial could be found innocent." Christ laid his life on the line and was crucified so that one day I would be able to return to him. I will do whatever it takes to do just that. "I know how to shine, my life's not really mine, it's not about a worldly climb, it's all about His design. So in his eyes... I wanna shine." I will live my life the best I can to be a true disciple of Christ.